


a loving kind of hurt

by iwritemyownreality



Category: Cursed (TV 2020)
Genre: Discipline, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, M/M, Past Abuse, Smut, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:02:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26148376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwritemyownreality/pseuds/iwritemyownreality
Summary: Lancelot is reckless and doesn't value his life .Gawain is not pleased .
Relationships: Gawain | The Green Knight/The Weeping Monk | Lancelot (Cursed)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

Gawain was fuming. For the most part Lancelot had finally been accepted by the fae’s in their newfound settlement but of course there were always a few whom would hold resentment to the former monk, however that resentment should remain silent and passive aggressive at most. They had finally found peace and with no idea how long this small pocket of calm would last, they should not ruin it by re-opening old wounds. 

That morning as Lancelot had left their cabin to fetch water from the stream he had been ambushed. Gawain had heard the Disruption and rushed down to see Two tusk men gripping Lancelot forcefully by the hair and arms and forcing the weeping monks head into the water. Gawain quickly acted to tear the men off of his lover with relative ease and sent them away in disgrace.

He would inform the counsel of this later and they would deal with the offenders accordingly.

That however was not the source of the green knight’s anger.

His ash man was strong, Gawain would know he had a rather impressive scar on his stomach to prove it, the weeping man could have easily fought off his attackers and likely without causing serious harm yet he did not. He allowed himself to be beaten and drowned. The knight did not want to even humour the idea of what would have happened had he not intervened. The thought alone made him feel as if it was he who had been dunked in the icy waters. 

Lancelot acted like he deserved it something that Gawain thought they had gotten past by now. He understood why the man felt the need to repent but giving his life to two tactless thugs was not the way to do it. The fact that Lancelot didn’t seem to grasp this irritated the knight more than you could know. 

Currently Lancelot was sitting upon their newly constructed bed shirtless and drying his hair as Gawain paced erratically in front of him. The man noticed that from his advantage point he could see that the top of Lancelot’s hair had almost completely grown out coving the bald patch that previously sat there. Gawain was thankful that the god-awful mark was finally shielded from his eyes. He was snapped out of his musings by the other man’s rough yet quiet voice. 

‘can you calm down I’m fine ‘ 

Gawain looked at the man incredulously, he knew the former monk had a penchant for self-punishment, but this was ridiculous. Lancelot had stopped his self-injury long ago now, but they had integrated little bits of pain into their intimate times, bite marks on the shoulder or his lovers beautiful locks grasped a little too tight between his fingers as Gawain left soft kisses on his neck. Lancelot was learning there could be pleasure in pain not only suffering and hate , Gawain would not pretend that he wasn’t pleased with this development. 

Having a man who could likely best him in combat allow the knight the honour of gripping his hips so tight that faint bruises were left drove Gawain mad. Not to say that the fae didn’t enjoy the softer times where he would cradle his lover and whisper praise and love into his ears as he took him. There had even been a handful of times recently when Gawain had found himself pressed under his Ash stained lover as the weeping man took him instead . He mused to himself that he likely enjoyed that the most as it took a while to convince Lancelot that the man would not hurt him. seeing the look in the former monks’ eyes when he realised Gawain trusted him to the point of allowing such an intimate act made the session of lovemaking particularly special to the knight. 

But what happened today was far from the rough pleasures they shared in the bedroom.

Lancelot could have died. 

And his dense lover didn’t even seem to care.

Honestly had it been anyone else Gawain would have thrown them over his knee by now, but Lancelot was a fragile soul and his previous experience with discipline most certainly left a fracture in his mind even if he often refused to let anyone see that. However, Gawain thought his own ideas of punishment could be good for his lover, maybe a more controlled release of guilt would prevent something like this from becoming a re-occurring event, That didn’t mean Gawain wasn’t going to discuss his plan of action with the man though. Consent is everything. 

Gawain stilled in front of Lancelot 

‘you are not fine as you would like me to believe, you could have easily bested those men yet you did not because you think you deserve it ‘

Lancelot lack of response and purposeful nonchalant expression only strengthened the knights resolve .

‘I am very disappointed in you ‘ 

With this statement Lancelot’s mask started to crack, refusing to meet his companions eyes and rather preferring to direct them towards the suddenly very intriguing floor . Gawain wasn’t having any of that. He sat beside Lancelot , one hand on his and the other gently cupping his chin making the other man look at him . His eyes were so beautiful, Gawain often noted how he could get lost in them , Yet now their beauty was glistening with hints of real tears threatening to join his ashen ones . 

‘ I love you and I want to spend the rest of my days with you , I can’t do that if you’re laying dead in the creek . do you understand? ‘ 

Lancelot had a childlike gleam in his eye obviously struggling with his lovers disapproval over his actions but gave a small nod none the less. 

‘ I think you would benefit well from a punishment , no ? ‘ 

The ash mans eyes widened slightly as he tensed .

‘ punishment ? ‘ 

Gawain shook his head vehemently , silently cursing himself for phrasing it in such a way that would evoke painful memories for his love .

‘ not like the paladins – ‘ 

His response was quick and didn’t miss a beat , he continued .

‘ hidden knows I would never hurt you in such a way , this would be a light spanking to reiterate your wrongdoings originating from a place of love . and without your consent I would never even consider it ….. but I think it would be mutually beneficial . ‘

Lancelot paused considering this deeply . it was true that he had a habit of self injury in the past and maybe that was still lingering in the back of his mind . When those tusks attacked him , and after the initial shock subsided , all he could think about was how he deserved it . Not because he was devil born or damned as Father Cardin had once made him believe , but because of all the atrocities he had committed against so many people .

his people

Miraculously the majority of the fae people seemed to have been able to justify Lancelot’s actions due to the abuse he suffered as a child but the former monk himself could not. he could not stand that these people trusted him. that they even looked to him for protection. That someone like Gawain, his Green Knight could care for him and love him. To be truthful It wasn’t till he was forced to gaze into the mans eyes when he realised that by letting himself be hurt he would have been hurting Gawain too . He was racked with guilt and although he was hesitant , perhaps Gawain’s offer to relieve him of that guilt could be nice . It was also fairly obvious that the knight was needing some control over his lovers reckless actions .

Gawain searched his lovers eyes for signs of distress or anything to help him predict the response of the other man , eventually his ash man spoke , although slowly and so quietly that the knight would have missed it entirely had he not been so enthralled in watching the man in that moment . 

‘what would you do exactly ? ‘ 

Gawain now took both of his lovers hands in his own and kissed them gently . 

‘ Firstly I would ask you to remove your breeches , then I would take you across my knee and slap your behind with the palm of my hand only – ‘

Gawain could see Lancelot’s cheeks redden considerably as the punishment was described but Gawain remained unfazed . 

‘ and lecture you until I feel you are contrite and aware of the severity of your actions , Lastly I would take you into my arms and comfort you for however long you need ‘ 

After concluding his explanation the man waited patiently . Lancelot looked away for a moment then buried his face in Gawain’s neck in a lame attempt to hide his blushing cheeks before mumbling a quiet okay .

‘ okay ?’

Gawain had to confirm not wanting to take any risks , Lancelot removed his face from his boyfriends neck and spoke louder and with a certainty that put Gawain’s nerves to rest . 

‘ okay . ‘

The Green knight leaned in to give a gentle and reassuring kiss to his ash man before steeling himself and commanding Lancelot to disrobe himself . The fae did as he was asked and so stood before his lover entirely naked. This man he stood before has been inside of him yet Lancelot had never in his life felt so vulnerable and exposed , though he couldn’t deny the underlying feeling of safety in the air .

Seeing the man’s hesitation , Gawain grabbed him by the hand and pulled him over his knees eliciting a small yelp that Gawain couldn’t help but find slightly adorable . After adjusting the man into a more comfortable position on his lap he lay a hand gently on his lovers backside before checking in one last time .

‘ are you okay ?’

Lancelot was glad that his face was obscured by a mop of mousey brown hair as his face could most certainly be likened to the shade of a tomato by this point.

‘y-yes ‘ 

Gawain noted the mans nervousness but that was expected , he informed the other that he was going to begin and started placing strikes on his behind in increasing levels of severity . Lancelot gave no reaction sans a embarrassed and uncomfortable squirming and so once his lovers skin was tinted a dusky pink he began to lecture the man on his lap of his misdoing. 

So far the spanking itself had been entirely bearable for the former monk who had to endure far worse in his past, yet with the introduction of Gawain’s stern voice he started to realise how much this punishment may actually affect him. 

‘ why are you in this position Lancelot ? ‘

The tone of voice sent shivers down his spine and suddenly Lancelot felt slightly defiant , feeling the need to bring up some kind of emotional wall to protect him from this humiliating experience . 

‘ cause you’re on some sort of power trip ‘ 

Gawain rolled his eyes , fully aware of his boyfriends tendency towards sarcasm when feeling out of his depth so purely reacted with a particularly hard smack . 

‘ want to try that again ? ‘

Lancelot groaned , that last hit genuinely leaving a sting , he prayed to every god he’s ever worshipped that no one could hear this . He decided the cabin was far enough away from the others than he felt fairly confident of their privacy and so turned his attention back to the question at hand .

‘ because I didn’t defend myself ‘

Gawain replied with praise and continued his assault on the other mans rear , it was now turning a light shade of red and would surely be slightly discomforting to sit on come the morn .

‘ and why is that bad ? ‘ 

Lancelot struggled , choking out syllables before admitting defeat .

‘i…I don’t know ‘

Taking pity on his lover and believing this answer to be genuine Gawain decided to just tell him , but not before taking a moment to acknowledge how his heart cracked at this revelation . How could a man so beautiful , so kind , not think he is worthy of life ? 

‘ it is bad because you are worthy of love , of life , of everything you now have and I will spank you a thousand times if that’s what it takes for you to realise this . it is not up to you , or me , or those two idiots by the river when you die . that is for the hidden to decide . the thought of losing you ….’

Gawain choked up slightly having to pause to regain his composure . 

A tear slid down Lancelot’s face , finding it ever so hard to keep a brave face .

‘ the thought of losing you would kill me , I love you so so much and it breaks my heart that you can’t see that ‘

The statement echoed through the room and suddenly Lancelot lost it . going limp on his lovers lap and shamelessly sobbing.

‘ I’m sorry , I’m so sorry ‘

Knowing his lover was contrite and feeling an intense desire to comfort him , he landed a few more smacks before lifting the crying man and cradling him into his lap . Lancelot immediately shoved his face into the warmth of Gawain’s neck and let the tears fall freely . He felt like a child , more so than he ever could recall . and for a long while that’s how they stayed . Gawain stroking his boyfriends hair in a comforting manner and the ash stained man focused on the knights steady heartbeat as he tried to settle his breathing . when he finally succeeded in this task Lancelot did not remove himself from the embrace only mumbled something inaudible to Gawain . 

‘ what was that ?’ 

Lancelot finally pulled his face from the fae man’s chest and spoke clearly but quietly as per usual only this time with a pink tint still gracing his face.  
‘ I have taken much worse than that , yet over your knees being punished like a child I lost my composure entirely . it’s pathetic ‘

Gawain laughed softly at the mans discontented facial expression . 

‘ its not the pain you’re crying over , it’s the emotion , you felt guilty as you should have . you cried because you care . a better man than you would likely do the same thing . you’re not pathetic you’re perfect .’ 

Gawain stroked his ash mans face lovingly and smiled as his lovers face softened . He bundled the man back into his arms and reclined on the bed , Lancelots head resting against his chest . They lay in this contented bubble of peace for who knows how long , eventually though Lancelot began to shift . leaning up to place a long passionate kiss on his boyfriends lips before pulling away . 

‘ thank you , I promise there will be a day when I feel worthy of your love I just need time ‘ 

Gawain smiled pulled the other man back into the kiss .

‘ squirrel is staying with Pym till tomorrow , we have buckets of time for me to show you just how much I love you ‘ 

With that Lancelot raised and eyebrow and smiled , allowing the other man to roll them over so that Lancelot lay beneath Gawain’s warm body , truly feeling safer than ever as his lover speckled his lips , neck and chest with tiny kisses . 

Lancelot let out a happy sigh. 

How he loved this man .


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gawain shows Lancelot just how much he loves him .
> 
> I really have no place writing a sex scene between two men but hey I tried .

Lancelot was torn from his thoughts when Gawain’s lips found a particularly sensitive part of his neck and the man let out a stifled groan . Gawain rolled his eyes at his boyfriends insistence on attempting to cover up his noises of pleasure and responded by giving a light teasing tap to his lovers reddened backside eliciting a small and somewhat juvenile whine of protest.

‘ be good and don’t cover up your beautiful little sounds ‘

Gathering himself quickly Lancelot gave the smirking man a withering glare causing the green knight to let out a breathy laugh. Before rolling them onto their sides and leaning over and kissing his lover softly .

‘apologies , now let me take cake of you ‘ 

With that he sneaked a hand between them and began slowly coaxing his lover to full stiffness all while keeping their lips attached . he was delighted to hear Lancelot had heeded his advice though and was allowing sounds of pleasure , albeit quiet ones , to pass through his lips . However Gawain was caught off guard when suddenly Lancelot’s knee began gently pressing into his own growing length causing the Green knight to lose his composure and groan into the mans shoulder . Lancelot continued his ministrations and spoke gently and seductively into his lovers ear as he toyed with the edge of Gawain’s shirt . 

‘ we’re a little uneven don’t you think ‘ 

Honestly Gawain couldn’t really think, with all the build up frustration and tension from early this little moment of pleasure was overwhelming him. When he did finally get it together, painstakingly tearing himself away from his lover enough to remove the garment , he thought only of how much he loved this side of Lancelot . The cheeky flirty side whom no one else has ever been privileged enough to experience . If anyone had told the knight a few months ago that the former monk would ever be bold enough sexually to tease him he would have laughed in their face .

He was so proud of his lover .

Whilst Gawain was elated by the mans new found confidence he was determined to make this about him and if he let Lancelot continue any longer he may end up spilling his own release into his trousers like an adolescent . The knight rolled Lancelot so that the weeping man was once more on his back , noting how the mans back arched off of the bed in a blissful manner as his sore rear brushed against the blankets . and nipped at the other mans neck gently.

‘ I can’t say I don’t love this side of you but I meant it when I said you were to let me take care of you tonight ‘ 

A particularly long stroke of his Cock coupled with his knights lips attacking his neck , Lancelot was in no position to argue with the man and so agreed with a tone of breathy desperation pleasing Gawain greatly .

‘ I’m going to you just how much I love you ‘ 

He places a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth 

‘ I love your lips…..your eyes ‘ 

His own lips slid down to his lovers neck ever so gently caressing the vulnerable part as Lancelots breath caught in his throat . 

‘ you’re voice and your mind ‘ 

Gawain slid further down the other mans body , tounge circling his nipple before placing a lingering kiss on his chest .

‘ I love you’re heart and you’re soul . you are so worthy of my love and I’ll spend every hour of every day proving that to you if I must ‘ 

Gawains arm was suddenly jerked upwards bringing him face to face with his love once more he saw a tear of happiness sliding down the other mans face and brushed it away gently . 

His ash man gripped his face forcefully and passionately and kissed him like his life depended on it , when they finally parted they were both breathless .

‘ I love you too , all of you so so much ‘ 

Gawain cupped his lovers face once more lingering in the moment after a while of sitting together and feeling the other mans hardened member jutting into his thigh he decided he best be getting back to work .

The knight continued to trail kisses down his lover writhing torso until reaching his crotch , taking his partners length into his mouth at a painfully slow pace . Lancelot arched off the bed at the sensation but kept his hands entangled in the sheets . Gawain wasn’t having any of that and grabbed the mans hands and placing them within his locks , suckling slightly on his partners member so that his fingers would latch onto his hair sending his own ripple of arousal throughout the knights body . 

The previous air of romance and love was still there of course but now under a thick cloud of lust . Gawain placed one hand on his lovers member while the other gripped onto his hips in a way that would surely leave bruises .

After a few minutes with his lovers lips on his cock Lancelot wasn’t sure he’d be able to hold on especially once he felt Gawains calloused fingers digging into his pale flesh . He let out a purely erotic moan that he was sure Gawain would appreciate. many of their first love making sessions had been uprooted by a lesson and a lecture about whatever repressed feeling Lancelot had been dealing with that day and the former monk didn’t want to take any chances .

Gawain got lost in the task at hand , taking so much pleasure in pleasing his partner that it was a slightly jarring experience when Lancelots weak voice cut through the sex filled room .

‘ s….stop , I don’t want to come – ‘ 

He shuddered in pleasure as Gawain pulled his lips of his lover , wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as he waited for Lancelot to choke out the last of his sentence .

‘ not until you’re inside me ‘

Gawain shivered 

‘ fuck yes ‘

The ash stained man was dizzy with love and lust , hearing these words uttered from his ash man left Gawain not far behind . He lent up to kiss the other mans soft lips once more before having to endure the torture of pulling away from his warm body long enough to shed himself of his trousers and grab the small bottle of olive oil they had siphoned from the kitchens and pour a little into his hands.

As quick as humanly possible Gawain’s lips were back on his lovers as a single finger poked at the other mans entrance. Lancelot groaned in pleasure and urged his lovers digits deeper into himself , enjoying the burn . The warmth and tightness around his hand was not boding well for Gawains own straining member alas he would always make sure Lancelot was properly prepared before entering him . When he deemed it fit the knight added a second , then a third , purposely avoiding the mans prostate since both the men were wanting to prolong the experience . Eventually Gawain decided Lancelot was stretched enough and slathered another bout of oil over his erection before positioning himself as his lovers enterance .

‘ are you ready ? ‘

Gawain enjoyed the look of the mans birthmarks circling his scrunched up eyes as he groaned in frustration . 

‘ gods yes I need you ‘ 

Gawain didn’t need to be told twice . He carefully entered his boyfriend savouring the feeling . he couldn’t believe someone so beautiful would allow him this treasure . After he bottomed out he stilled inside his lover giving them both time to adjust. his eyes drifted to Lancelots face . His head was thrown back in pleasure , little droplets of sweat glistening on his forehead causing his long dark locks to stick to his face and lips open slightly in pleasure . Gawain was pulled from his thoughts by his boyfriend grinding down against him causing the knight to shudder in pleasure and almost collapse against the other man . He steadied himself with one hand on the headboard and another gripping his loves hips and began to slowly thrust .

Their hips collided in a lustful dance hitting his lovers prostate each time making his ash man cry out in pleasure and bury his face in his lovers shoulder . From an outsiders perspective it would be difficult to say where one man ended and the other started , in that moment they were completely entwined both in body and in soul . 

It didn’t take long for both men to climax, first Lancelot spilling his sticky seed onto both their stomachs , Gawain wasn’t far behind . the knight collapsed onto his partner, keeping himself inside the other man for just a moment as he caught his breath before swiftly rolling onto his back and pulling the exhausted ash man into his chest .

He brushed the damp hair from his lovers head and kissed his forehead lovingly . 

Lancelot was silent, enjoying listening to Gawain’s erratic heartbeat as he bathed in the blissful moment . 

Gawain was doing the same basking in the closeness they both felt at that moment .

Soon he noticed his ash man drifting off to sleep but not before whispering one last 

‘ I love you ‘

The end.


End file.
